Jim’s Revenge Coming shortly – From the author of Arcadia’s Children
A visit to the dark north
Marjory Fleecem sniffed but her husband Mark ignored her; his wife did a lot of sniffing. Like the Scottish uh-huh, Marjory’s sniff had a number of meanings. Apart from signifying the onset of a cold, one of Marjory’s sniffs could indicate disapproval, condescension or just plain unadulterated hostility.
Catching a whiff of chemical engineering in the early morning air, Marjory glanced out at the arrays of lights and sprawling pipe work of the oil distillation plant their Jaguar was passing and sniffed twice more. Fluffy; her Pekingese dog sniffed as well. Mark Fleecem glanced back at the small animal which was penned up in a transportation box strapped to the back seat and gave the animal a cold look.
Although he liked dogs Fleecem didn’t classify Fluffy as a dog. A real dog was either an Alsatian or a Welsh sheepdog, large dogs, creatures everyone respected. Fluffy was basically a snappy little rat.
Keeping his inner thought to himself, Fleecem finally glanced at his wife and said, “Something the matter dear?”
“Why did you bring me to this terrible place?” she wailed.”You know I can’t abide like coming up north. It’s so, so …”
Fleecem simulated an extreme northern accent, one that even a Northerner wouldn’t have recognised, “All flat cap, pigeons, clogs, brass bands and whippets, eh!”
“Now you’re just making fun of me,” Marjory complained.
Fleecem pointed out the obvious, “If I recall correctly, I was going to come up here on my own dearest but you insisted you wanted to come up with me. You said you wanted to see the Cornrun Gold, the horse you bought the shares in.”
Marjory let out another sniff; as her husband loved horse racing she’d bought him shares in a race horse for his birthday; she corrected his misconception, “I have no interest in seeing Cornrun Gold. He’s your horse.”
“It’s you that likes racing,” she reminded him. “I’ve no interest whatsoever in seeing huge sweating beasts charging around a racetrack.”
Although Marjory didn’t put her inner thoughts into words, buying the horse shares had been a bad move as far as she was concerned. She had bought him the shares because she’d run out of ideas for a birthday present; what do you buy a man who has a huge property portfolio, a massive pension fund and millions stashed away in stocks and shares?
When she’d bought the shares, she’d never imagined her husband would think a part ownership in Cornrun Gold was the best thing since sliced bread. Neither did she think he’d want to follow the mangy nag’s progress online or start going to races to see him run. He’d even been on Favebook and told everyone about the bloody beast!
Extract from Jim’s Revenge
Jim’s Revenge – From the author of Arcadia’s Children